The Roses and Thorns of Forever
by Cyokie Revott
Summary: It's hard to keep a promise of "forever" when you've been through what he's been through. But if he ever loved Oz, he'll keep that promise. An Oz x Gilbert fic that skips around to show Gilbert's feelings throughout time.
**Gilbert – 9 Years Old**

Gilbert watched Oz and Ada prancing carelessly around the lake and felt a thrill go through him. Simply watching them filled him with such a joyous, peaceful feeling, and he cherished it. Even if he wasn't participating, he felt as if he could feel exactly what Oz and Ada were feeling at that moment.

And the sun, it was setting, skewing ethereal gold and orange light around the area. The sunset, Gilbert felt, made everything more beautiful, made everything feel more mystical and wondrous. It also helped that they were near a lake. The lake reflected the sun's light in such a pretty way.

Oz was smiling and laughing, and Ada was doing the same, as well as squealing with delight whenever Oz accelerated enough. Gilbert was hypnotized, watching without blinking. It never occurred to him to look away. He didn't _want_ to look away. He wanted this moment to last forever.

Gilbert had no idea how it was possible to feel so attached to Oz, especially since he'd only met him the previous day. But Oz seemed like he'd probably be good at that—making you like him beyond belief no matter how little time you'd spent with him.

"Hey, Gil, aren't you going to join us?"

Oz was yelling to Gilbert from the other side of the lake. He'd stopped running, gripping Ada by her tiny, delicate hand, shooting Gilbert that childish pout.

"It's weird when you're just standing there, staring at us!" Oz called out. "And it doesn't look very fun!"

Gilbert blushed with embarrassment, but he was still in a trance. Suddenly, he found himself oddly captivated by those pretty green eyes. He glanced at Ada, expecting to feel the same way, but he didn't. Ada's eyes were practically the same as Oz's, just as green and enchanting, but…well, it wasn't the same. Gilbert didn't feel the same way he looked at _her,_ rather than Oz.

What was this feeling…?

It seemed impossible to reply; he just couldn't open his mouth. Gilbert's heart was beating far faster than normal, and he felt strange—warmer than normal. He'd never felt this way before. Well, of course, he didn't know that for _sure._ Gilbert had lost his memories from before he'd collapsed near the Vessalius manor, so if he'd felt this way before, he wouldn't be able to tell.

"Gil…?"

Gilbert blinked, managing to get himself out of this trance, but not managing to get rid of that feeling. He forced himself to look at the ground so he wouldn't become entranced again.

"Yes, Young Master…?"

Oz was frowning, as Gilbert saw when he glanced up for a moment. "Are you okay?"

Gilbert looked up at Oz; it was a struggle not to go back into that trance, plus, his heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest. "Yes, Young Master, I…I'm all right. You and Lady Ada should go. I'll just…watch."

Oz looked dissatisfied, but he shrugged and chirped, "Your loss!" and ran off with Ada, the cycle beginning again.

And Gilbert, Gilbert was left to drown in hypnotism. This time, though, his eyes just focused on Oz, rather than the both of them. And everything in that moment was about Oz and only Oz. Everything that was happening all led back to Oz, and everything that Gilbert felt was connected to Oz.

Just looking at Oz made that feeling go out of control inside Gilbert, and even though the feeling was slightly alarming because he didn't know what it was, it felt wonderful. Gilbert wanted to feel this way forever. And he felt longing in his heart, the type of longing that was torture and yet beautiful, and he didn't understand anything about what was going on.

Gilbert felt the _longing_ —it was horribly evident—but he didn't know what it meant, or _what_ he was longing for. It was just… _longing._ And he felt it every time his eyes focused on Oz.

Oz, gorgeous Oz.

Oz was beautiful in every way possible, both on the inside and the outside. He was selfless, Oz, and he was more kind and loving than a _servant_ such as Gilbert deserved. And Oz had golden-blonde hair and the most meaningful green eyes. And Gilbert couldn't help wondering how, of all people, his master ended up being _Oz Vessalius,_ surely the best possible master Gilbert could've winded up having.

What was it that he longed for? What would quench the longing? What was this _feeling?_

Gilbert tried desperately to grasp the answer. He recalled the knowledge he had of different emotions, which probably would have been silly if _this_ hadn't been happening. But this…this made no sense whatsoever. It was joy and sorrow at the same time. It was something…more. Something more than Gilbert was used to feeling.

And then something came to Gilbert's mind—something about the longing. He wanted to…hug Oz, maybe? Something having to do with contact…?

Maybe he wanted to be better friends with Oz. Friends hugged, right? So this was normal…?

No, that wasn't right.

Gilbert certainly _did_ want to be closer to Oz, but just wanting to be friends with him wasn't all this was. He knew that for sure. Being _friends_ wasn't…enough, somehow. There would still be something off—a piece missing that Gilbert desperately wanted, but didn't know how to explain.

Gilbert was only nine years old; it was natural he'd be confused. And who could he possibly talk to about this? Certainly not Oz, and if _Gilbert_ didn't understand, Ada definitely wouldn't. What about Oscar? Would Oscar understand?

But…Gilbert was a servant. He was just a servant. Did he even have the _right_ to talk to a noble about his feelings at all? He barely knew the other servants, so they weren't an option. Gilbert sighed quietly to himself, still mesmerized by Oz.

 _Hopefully, someday…I'll understand what this is._

 **Gilbert – 14 Years Old (before Oz's disappearance)**

It couldn't have been clearer now. Gilbert still remembered that day—the day he first fell for Oz. It felt like such a long time ago now, because Gilbert couldn't imagine a time when he wasn't best friends with Oz, when he didn't understand that he loved Oz.

And that love, it hadn't disappeared or even faded. No, it only got stronger with every passing day. With that love brought the longing, that longing that felt more horrible than beautiful now. Gilbert wanted so badly to confess to Oz, but he knew he couldn't, because this was already wrong. He reminded himself on a daily basis:

 _No, Gilbert, get yourself together. Nobody will ever find out about this, do you understand? This is wrong. You're not supposed to fall in love with Oz. He is a boy, and you are also a boy. And you're a servant and he's a noble, so you don't even have the_ right _to love him._

It was true that Oz didn't treat Gilbert as his servant, but as his friend. But Gilbert was extremely aware of his social status—perhaps more than necessary—and he had never been able to get it out of his mind that he was a servant. Loving Oz, even if nobody knew about it, already felt like a sin.

Gilbert had never seen Oz have any romantic attachments, but Oz _spoke_ about girls a lot, and about how someday he'd have a girlfriend. Gilbert had never shared Oz's interest in girls. He knew that he wasn't attracted to girls, just boys, even though he'd only ever been attracted to Oz.

Just a few moments ago, Oz had been talking about what his future girlfriend would look like. Gilbert thought Oz was being a little excessive, expecting to end up with the "most beautiful girl in the entire world", but that was all right. Oz always had high hopes, especially when it came to girls.

Gilbert had felt uncomfortable as Oz went into details about what the girl would look like because he couldn't connect with Oz's enthusiasm. (He _could_ safely say that the girl Oz was describing would be very beautiful, but he just couldn't imagine ever having a girlfriend himself, so he couldn't imagine actually being _attracted_ to this girl.)

Then Oz had said that Gilbert would certainly have a girlfriend someday too. Gilbert, feeling awkward, had simply replied…

" _Yes…Young Master._ "

Oz had snorted in response, scolding Gilbert for acting like it was work to admit he'd someday have a girlfriend. Gilbert had wanted to disappear when Oz then asked him what _his_ girlfriend would look like.

Gilbert had frowned, trying to hide his embarrassment, and finally had to say he had no preference. Oz had laughed at this, saying he must have _some_ idea of what his future girlfriend's appearance would be, but had finally given up when Gilbert insisted he really didn't.

Gilbert _did_ manage to leave out that the only person he'd ever want to be with that way was Oz, though.

 **Gilbert – 14 Years Old (after Oz's disappearance)**

Why?

Why did Oz have to be dragged into the Abyss?

Gilbert knew there was no way he could speak to Oz. He had no idea how Oz was doing—whether Oz was even _alive._ Maybe he was suffering. Maybe he'd never get back to the surface.

Those old stories—the fairy tales—about the Abyss had been discounted has fantasy by Gilbert and Oz long ago. But apparently they were wrong. Apparently the Abyss was as real as literally anything else, a twisted world with messengers called Baskervilles.

The Baskervilles had dragged Oz into the Abyss.

One of those Baskervilles was Xai Vessalius, Oz's father.

Nobody believed him, but Gilbert had _seen_ it—seen Xai's Chain, Gryphon, drag Oz down into the Abyss. Oz's father had made it clear he despised him a long time ago, and Gilbert hated him for that. And Gilbert would never, ever forgive Xai for this.

Gilbert still had a massive amount of trouble wrapping his head around the fact that Oz was gone. He didn't want to accept it, so he _couldn't_ accept it. That's why Gilbert had agreed to work with Xerxes Break so quickly—because Break had promised to help him rescue Oz, and Gilbert was so desperate he'd try anything at this point.

Sometimes, Gilbert was caught in a strange haze, unable to tell what was going on or why Oz wasn't beside him.

 **Gilbert – 16 Years Old**

It had been two years since Oz was dragged into the Abyss. Gilbert's personality had changed massively—from a helpless, traumatized boy to a determined, vicious young man. But one thing hadn't changed. One thing would never change.

Gilbert still loved Oz.

 _Forever,_ he'd promised him. And he wasn't ever going to break that promise.

Gilbert had learned to use everyone and everything available to him in order to achieve his goals. He still didn't feel as though the Nightray family was _his_ family. They were _a_ family that he just happened to live with. And the Nightray family's Chain was Raven—that was the important part.

Gilbert would make a Contract with Raven. That was the plan. Black-winged Chains could create Paths to the Abyss, and Gilbert planned to save Oz by using Raven.

He no longer mourned and wept over Oz's disappearance. Of course, there were certain times when Gilbert would be overcome and have to escape to his room to cry, but now he had a _purpose._ His purpose was getting Oz back. And he would do anything to fulfill his purpose.

No matter if that included staining his hands with blood.

Gilbert didn't care how many people he'd have to kill to get Oz back. He didn't care how many times he had to pull the trigger on his pistol. He didn't care how many times he had to drive a knife through someone's skin. This was all for Oz.

He just wanted to get that light back—the light that shone only when Oz was around him. And Oz, he had done nothing to deserve this. The Abyss was a place for people who had sinned unforgivably, and Gilbert of all people knew Oz had done nothing but be an angel.

Gilbert rarely smiled now. He usually had an unpleasant glare on his face, his words dripping with anger and sarcasm and misery. He was always serious. But despite this, Gilbert remained chivalrous and kind on the inside; you just had to know him well enough.

Changing from a servant to a noble had been an awkward process, and Gilbert still wanted to be Oz's servant. Social status didn't matter in the least to him. The only thing that mattered was _Oz._ The only thing that had ever _truly_ mattered was always Oz.

 **Gilbert – 24 Years Old (near beginning of the series)**

Alice.

That was the girl's name. Gilbert dared not even call her a girl. She was a Chain and only a Chain, but she was _Oz's_ Chain. Oz had made an Illegal Contract with her and escaped the Abyss all on his own.

Gilbert was a bit irked that he'd spent ten years trying to save Oz for nothing, but the thing that really bothered him was the way Oz looked at her.

Alice.

Goddamn it, where did she even _get_ that name from? Her name was the Bloody Black Rabbit, or the B-Rabbit, and Gilbert refused to call her Alice. He only called her "Stupid Rabbit", because she didn't deserve more.

He knew how much Oz liked girls, but he had never seen him look at one like this. When Oz's eyes set on Alice, he looked as if she was the entire world to him, as if he couldn't imagine a time without her.

And Gilbert wanted so badly to get rid of Alice—to kill her, and make everything go back to the way it was before. He should have appreciated that Oz was back, and he _did,_ he really did, but Alice was not something he'd been expecting.

But nothing _would_ go back to normal if Alice died, would it? Gilbert feared that if Alice died, Oz would be scarred forever. And why wouldn't he? It made perfect sense that he'd be traumatized if someone so close to him died. Gilbert couldn't help but feel hopeless, though, because if things wouldn't go back to normal if Alice died, what _would_ make things go back to normal?

And the scary part was that the way Oz looked at Alice reflected how Gilbert felt about Oz. How could Gilbert take away Alice if Oz truly loved her that much? Could he do that? How would Oz feel if he killed Alice—like Gilbert would if Oz was killed?

If that was the case, Gilbert wasn't sure he could ever murder Alice, no matter how much pain it caused him.

Gilbert didn't know why Alice was so special to Oz. Alice was obnoxious and loud, unappreciative and arrogant. What could be so precious about a person like _that?_ Not to mention Alice had practically wired Oz with a time bomb by making an Illegal Contract with him.

He and Alice had gotten off to a horrible start, and Gilbert seriously doubted anything would change. They just didn't get along. Oz couldn't seem to realize why they hated each other—and he obviously didn't realize the depth of their hatred.

Alice.

Would Oz decide Alice was the solution to all his problems and leave Gilbert behind?

 **Gilbert – Unknown Age (near the end of the hundred-year time skip, but not quite at the end)**

Gilbert could never have expected his world to be saved the way it was. He could never have expected for the safety and stability of the world to come at the cost of Oz, his beloved and best friend, and Alice, his other best friend.

It wasn't as if they'd been killed, exactly—they sacrificed themselves. It was so like them. Selfless to the last, they were. Perhaps Alice had to go through some changes to become that way, but that was always the Oz that Gilbert knew.

And Gilbert, he had such a hard time accepting that Oz had slipped from his grasp all over again. But somehow it was easier than the last time, because this time, Oz's return was guaranteed. He _knew_ that Oz wasn't gone forever. A hundred years was nothing that would get in his way.

Gilbert cared for Alice too, but in truth, he was really just waiting for Oz. The only reason he'd agreed to wait a century was because of Oz. And he knew how selfish and cruel this was-that he wouldn't have waited if it was only Alice—but sometimes the truth wasn't very pleasing.

So much had changed. It had been almost a hundred years, which Gilbert himself couldn't believe. _A hundred years_ had almost passed? It seemed impossible, like some sort of dream.

Vincent had forced Gilbert to tell Ada he was dead. Vincent said he wanted Ada to be happy with someone else, because he was just too _different_ from her, and he believed that it wouldn't work out. It broke Gilbert's heart, because even though Ada definitely knew he was lying, she said nothing. It broke Gilbert's heart even more to see Ada move on, but never get over Vincent.

It seemed it really had been love, at least for Ada. She was in love with Vincent. She couldn't get over him, no matter how hard she tried. Gilbert felt horrible for her.

Naturally, since they weren't Baskervilles, Gilbert had been forced to watch his friends pass on. He didn't think about it until he knew the time was coming for each of them—Sharon, Reim, and Ada—but when he was finally faced with the fact that this _waiting_ would make him watch his friends die…well, it hurt, to say the least. Gilbert didn't want to watch his friends die, the only friends he had left. And people asked him how he could go on watching all this happen.

Gilbert wondered that himself sometimes, too. But this was different than the first time he had to wait for Oz. That time, every day was torture. Most days blurred by as simple memories of darkness and pain and longing for someone who wasn't there. But _this_ time, Gilbert knew that Oz would return and when. Each day _this_ time felt like an achievement, one step closer to getting Oz back—the only person he'd ever loved this way.

So no matter what happened, Gilbert would hold on. He couldn't afford to give up, especially not when he was _so close._ The sorrow meant nothing. He would get through it. He'd gotten through sorrow before, and he could do it again.

 _Oz._ Gilbert's heart called out Oz's name. _It's almost time for you to come home._

 **Gilbert – Unknown Age (end of hundred-year time skip)**

Gilbert felt the tears slip down his face as his brother disappeared in flashes and dots of light.

The time would come eventually for Vincent as it had for the rest of the people close to Gilbert who _weren't_ Baskervilles. Baskervilles lived much longer than the average human, but they didn't last forever, and Vincent's time had come.

Gilbert hadn't expected his little brother's time to run out before his own. After all, he _was_ the big brother. But he supposed in some cruel way, this was luck. He would last long enough to see Alice and Oz get resurrected. No matter how disgustingly dark this _luck_ was, it was luck.

Biting his lip, Gilbert sighed and closed his eyes. The tears had stopped falling—he was getting a hold of himself, somehow. Gilbert and Vincent had been extremely close, no matter if Vincent had avoided contacting Gilbert for four years or not. Gilbert and Vincent adored each other, no matter if they got in each other's nerves or not.

And Gilbert, he'd meant those words he'd spoken. He'd meant it when he said he was happy to have had Vincent by his side. He just couldn't believe it was over.

Gilbert began hearing a familiar tune. It was being hummed, and he sighed, knowing this tune had been replayed in his head over and over again. It was that tune Oswald had made called Lacie. This sad little tune was playing itself yet again.

"Hey! Hey, wait!"

Gilbert's eyes shot open.

 _It can't be._

And he had no idea why he thought it couldn't be, because he'd known all this time exactly when Oz and Alice would return—that's the whole reason he'd been waiting there. But he still couldn't believe it when he heard Oz's voice, when he realized Alice was the one humming that tune.

"Slow down! You're going too fast!"

Suddenly, Gilbert saw Alice speeding towards him, Oz running after her and desperately trying to keep up.

Oz and Alice stopped a small distance from Gilbert.

Oz was crying, but it wasn't a sad kind of crying.

"Um…we still haven't remembered everything yet. But we remember most of it. It'll…it'll all come back in no time. It's still flooding back now…" Oz murmured. His voice cracked as he met his servant's eyes. Gilbert felt his eyes dampen as well. "It's…it's been a long time…Gilbert."

Gilbert was silent for a moment, looking utterly dumbfounded—like he couldn't quite recognize the two teenagers standing in front of him or figure out what they were doing there.

Then a smile spread across his face, and that smile held all of the happiness that was exploding through him at that moment.

"It sure has!"

Gilbert attacked Alice and Oz in a massive hug, all of them ignoring the tears streaming down their faces.

Gilbert held the two close to him. Finally, he felt full again. Finally, he got to see _them_ again. "Welcome back!"

 **Gilbert – Unknown Age (the day after Oz and Alice's resurrection)**

Gilbert had just finished filling Oz and Alice in on all that had happened since they were gone.

They'd regained the entirety of their memories by now and were shocked to find out what had become of Vincent, Ada, Reim, and Sharon. They looked a little sad—perhaps more than a little—but it was impossible for them to be completely sad. It was impossible for Gilbert, too. How could they be entirely sad when, after a hundred years, they'd finally been reunited?

Oz grinned, all the sorrow disappearing from his face. "So, Gil…did anything else important happen while we were gone?"

Gilbert snorted indignantly. "Like _what?_ "

"I don't know. Did you get a girlfriend?" Oz asked slowly, his grin spreading even wider.

Gilbert flinched. He'd forgotten Oz _still_ didn't know his feelings for him. After waiting for a century, Gilbert had pretty much started to think Oz knew. But Oz didn't know.

And it was about time he knew.

"Oz," Gilbert said quietly. "I…need to tell you something."

Oz's mischievous grin fell, figuring out that his servant was being serious. "Then talk."

"Um, I can't." Gilbert glanced swiftly and nervously at Alice, who gave him a challenging look. "Alice, could you…?"

He was afraid Alice wouldn't leave, but he'd forgotten Alice wasn't who she started out as. Alice nodded, despite looking a bit peeved, and exited the room.

"You'd better make me meat for this!"

Alice's call from the other room made Oz spurt a good-natured laugh and Gilbert smile and roll his eyes.

"So, what is it, Gil?" Oz met Gilbert's eyes earnestly.

Gilbert gulped. _This is it. After 115 years, this is it._ "Uh…well. There's something I've been hiding from you. For…a long time, actually…almost since we met…"

" _What,_ Gil? Just spit it out. After so much time, what could you possibly be embarrassed about?" Oz smirked a little, ever a deviant. " _Did_ you get a girlfriend?"

"Don't be ridiculous." Gilbert scowled, but his heart wasn't in it.

"Well then, _what?_ " Oz was beginning to sound impatient. "It's been a hundred years. I'd think you'd want to spit it out. _Don't_ you want to spit it out?"

"Yeah, I guess." Gilbert took a deep breath and then let it out. _Oh dear God, this is it._ "Oz, I…I'm in love with you."

Oz blinked a few times, unable to process Gilbert's words all the way. Gilbert messed with his fingers, not wanting to meet his master's eyes. He'd always anticipated some sort of horrible rejection after this, some sort of reaction that would mess up their friendship.

 _Don't expect anything,_ Gilbert reminded himself. _Oz loves Alice. That's why you used to be so jealous of her._

Gilbert was still looking down, so he didn't notice when Oz beamed.

Oz walked over to him and adjusted Gilbert's face gently with his hands. Gilbert was now forced to look at the beautiful, irreplaceable fifteen-year-old.

 _Oz is…smiling…?_

 _What?_

"Gil…" Oz's smile got even brighter. Abruptly, he threw his arms around Gilbert.

Gilbert froze awkwardly before completely melting, smiling solemnly and wrapping his arms around the smaller male, anticipating what reaction would come next. Oz's warmth was the only thing keeping Gilbert okay at that moment, the only thing making sure he didn't freak out. And he loved Oz, so even if Oz was younger and shorter, his warmth was more comforting than anything else.

And no, he didn't say he loved him back. He didn't. But what he did say wasn't anything of rejection or disappointment or anger, and what he _did_ say was the only thing that mattered to Gilbert.

"Gil, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

~~A/N~~ Well, yeah. That was short, but I enjoyed it writing it! It's nice to write something that is (kind of) light and fluffy like this. I hope you guys liked it. By the way, the reason I started putting Gilbert's age as "unknown age" as some point is because of how messed up the timelines got around that time in PandoraHearts. I apologize for that. (Jun never really tells you if it's _exactly_ a hundred years Gilbert waited, so I just assumed, even though there are things that imply it was slightly more...) (Did anyone else cry after reading volume 24? I cried several times, actually. I'm even afraid to reread it because I cry every time...) ANYWAY! Again, I hope you liked it. OzBert forever! :3


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